A Reflection on the Meet & Greet
Looking back on this past year, working from home, locked down, and getting to know colleagues exclusively through MS Teams, I often think back on what it took to get me to this point. When I moved to California from New York and took a class to become a UX Designer, I stumbled into an unfamiliar world. After having spent over a decade as a music teacher in New York, job-seeking in LA was very different from anything I knew.
I consider myself very fortunate. I worked as a UX teacher for the better part of the year and got my first real-life gig doing pro bono work for a health organization. It wasn’t until I was given a chance to interview with an in-house design group for an insurance company that I got my first shot at a real, paid UX gig.
It was amazing! Throughout the job-seeking process, I kept hearing about how I didn’t have enough experience. I commiserate with any newbie trying to break into UX who has to listen to these words. How does one get any experience when no one gives you a chance? Kafka would love it. That’s why the new gig was, quite literally, a life-changer. I am forever grateful to have been given the chance to finally prove myself. Three months into that job, however - lockdown.
It got me thinking about a period in my life I sort of wanted to forget. This period fell between graduating and getting hired. The dark period of job seeking. The worst part of job seeking, for me at least, was not the resumes and cover letters, the interviews, or even the rejections. It wasn’t the self-doubt, the imposture syndrome, or the nagging question “Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?”
It was the meet and greet.
Allow me to paint a picture to illustrate my mindset: imagine a wedding. You are a guest, maybe a distant relation or an old friend of the groom or bride. You are glad they thought to include you in their special day, but the fact of the matter is - you don’t know anybody there.
Now, imagine that everyone else ALSO doesn’t know anyone there. And everyone is carrying their resume and business card - because everyone at this wedding is trying to find a job. The room is packed. Finger foods are served. Music plays in the background. There is a line at the bar to grab a beer or glass of wine. People are mingling. For an introvert such as myself, this is a perfect storm of awkwardness.
The conversations you have all fall into one of two categories:
Type one: a conversation with a job seeker. You make eye contact with another job seeker, and he/she asks you about yourself. You have to give the same sum up - I did this, I want to do that, blah blah blah. In spite of how little you actually want to hear the answer, you force yourself to ask, “And what about you?” This leads to a lengthy monologue in which the person attempts to make an impression. You spend the whole time wondering why, as you have no job to offer them - otherwise, you wouldn’t be there yourself. As you strain to hear them because the room is so loud, you look around for an out. If you are already holding food or a beverage and have no reason to escape to the bartender, your only choice is to either repeat conversation type one with another person or seek out conversation type two.
Type two: a conversation with someone who is employed. Someone who has a job and you think you might leverage this person for an in. An in is the holy grail of this entire fiasco. Maybe they are a recruiter for the company hosting the event. Maybe they work in the creative design for the company hosting the event. Maybe they already have a job unrelated to the company hosting the event, and just enjoy coming to these things for a good time (although I don’t think these people actually exist). In any case, you have to then say something to make yourself stand out. Something profound about UX, something that no one else has ever said. Something so smart that they will remember your name and fast-track you for being hired as soon as humanly possible.
Needless to say, nothing ever really came out of conversation type two for me.
As a man in his thirties, with a wife and child depending upon him to figure out how to provide an income, attending these events was like serving a punishment. You chose this path, now you must pay… In retrospect, of course, it wasn’t that bad. I especially see the irony now, as I long for being in a crowded room full of people making small talk, though introverted as I am. In fact, I kind of miss it.
I think, ultimately, the meet and great accomplishes two things. First, it forces a newbie into being uncomfortable and having to talk shop, which is a great way to refine your conversational skills with like-minded people in the same field. Second, it is possible to make connections that may pay off down the road. I was shocked when I learned that someone who interviewed me for a job did, in fact, remember me from a meet and greet a few months prior. (I didn’t get that job, so I guess you can read into that what you will). It is an interesting scene, and one that I hope does return someday. Who knows - when this pandemic is over, maybe I will get an invite to a wedding of a distant cousin whom I haven’t seen in 20 years, and actually feel a little excitement at mingling with strangers. I won’t even have to bring my resume.